Chronicle of Destiny "Today is the Day"
Greetings. This is a journal documentary about the psychological redemption of an addict through multiple personalities and perspectives. Our purpose is to shed light on the phenomena of self-destructive behavior. Why do we do things we know we shouldn't do over and over until we are so hopeless we lose our passion for life? Why do we let vice murder our destiny? Why do we sabotage our future for fleeting desires and passions?
How is it possible the same person can be motivated and filled with passion for life at one moment, and be entrenched in anxiety, depression, and hopelessness the next?
This is a record of that struggle. The story hasn't ended. It has just begun...
7/25/2012 ~ I dont know where to begin because the story isn't written. So lets just start from this moment and move forward. I am tired of going nowhere in my life. I am filled with anxiety and depression about the future because I'm have no clue what I want to do in my life. Whats the point of it all? Is it all for naught? I use to have vision, passion, and excitement. But now everything thing feels dark, hopeless, and numb. This is why I have been doing things I know I shouldn't. Because for a brief moment I feel good. I feel like my ol' confident inspired self has returned. But when the buzz wears off I feel worse then before. Im not drinking every night, but I do think about it to often. Ive always been good at not going to far in one area. I kind have learned to do a little here, a little there, so no one could point and say "he has a problem" But my problem is not my battle with vice, but the battle with myself. Its not about to many drugs or alcohol or video games. Its about taking a step back and bringing my life to account. What have I done with the gifts I have been givin? Why am I capable of so much but have done so little? Why am I not doing the things I want to do, and doing the things I dont want to do? Why am I two people in one battling for control?
In self-help philosophies you constantly hear, "One Day at a Time!" And in the Bible the Master teaches us not to worry about tomorrow, because today has enough challenges. How many people trying to give up drinking have said to themselves countless times, "This is it!, I will never drink again!", only to drink a little time later. Or when thinking about giving up a vice and never doing it again we don't believe its possible. We are overwhelmed. Then we figure, since "I'm going to do it again someday I may as well do it now." This is a journal about Today, not Tomorrow. If we are always worrying about screwing up we are going to screw up.
Today I am thrilled to begin this journey and I have no clue what Im doing. But I'm just gonna do it one day at a time. My life is trashed right now. I have been putting things off for so long I feel overwhelmed by them. Most people struggle with this at various times in the their life. But for some of us it gets so far out of hand we feel hopeless. We are paralyzed as we watch life pass us by. Day by day we grow old in misery and eventually die. We look back to what if I did this, or didn't do that? We look to our past and long to have another chance at life. Why is it that we believe in ourselves in the past, that we could do it better now that we know what we know, but we cant seem to believe in ourselves to live life better today?
Let us put the past behind us and not fret for the future. Let us do today those things which we know to do.
Today's Point to Ponder
- To whom much is given, much is required.
- If I don't use what has been given to me, even what I don't have will be taken away from me.
- Don't be anxious about tomorrow, for the problems of today are sufficient.
